Learn to not give a fuck

“You will stop caring what other people think about you when you have something in your life that’s more important than what other people think.” – Mark Manson

Full disclosure: I care deeply about what others think about me. Maybe a little too much. For better or for worse, I am constantly trying to please others and in instances where I find people don’t like my style, decisions or approach, that can bother me.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing. After all, who the fuck wants to be universally hated? Some people think I don’t have feelings and I am cold but that’s not 100% true, maybe it’s like 98% true…

But I try to bring humor into people’s lives to help break that barrier and for them to open up and say, “this kid is alright”. Frankly, I can’t rely on looks alone when I have a face like mine. 

This past summer I took a disc profile exam to get a sense of what my motivators are. To find out what truly drives me on a daily basis. I wouldn’t say I was necessarily surprised by the results, but some of the attributes that were highlighted, exposed my needs/wants to be liked.

Our greatest fear, or maybe just mine, is that we are not enough. Maybe we aren’t doing the right things, so we lean on other people’s opinion to help steer us on the right path. This is completely reasonable because we need to rely on others to get through life. We cannot do this alone. But you need to find out who/what is truly important to you. 

When people start questioning you, or they aren’t on board with your ideas, that can truly cast doubt on your actions.

It can be related to your social life. Maybe you party a little too hard or don’t like to go out at all. Also, it can be tilted toward our finances. “You put yourself in debt to buy THAT??!” “Why on earth did you sell that fund/stock, look at what it’s done!”

Whatever the case may be, we all make decisions on a daily basis to satisfy our needs. Someone will have an opinion on it and that can ultimately impact your line of thinking. But when you are making decisions that are in your best interests, why let those opinions get to you?

When I first started writing these blogs, it started out as almost a joke. It was a group of my college friends who had made the comment to put together a quick blog during COVID. I went along with the bit and thought it could be interesting/funny.

But as I started doing it consistently and built up a small number of followers (I love all of you), I started to battle the self-doubt. “Do these people really care about what I have to say?” “What the fuck do I know, I’m only 25”

That was truly starting to impact my ability to write on a weekly basis. I’ve started to really step outside my comfort zone by writing and making videos. A few years ago, I would have found this not ‘cool’ or would’ve scoffed at someone doing something similar and found myself saying, ‘this fucking guy.”

But some of the feedback I’ve received, and selfishly, the growth I’ve seen in my self, makes all of this so worthwhile.

So, as I’m navigating through life, I am trying to become less dependent on others liking me. I suggest you do the same.

When you begin to make big decisions, whether professionally, socially, financially, etc., you are bound to make decisions that not everyone agrees with.

The sad truth is that many people care about what others think about them and as a result don’t go for their true goals or passions. When you are able to put this fear of judgement aside, your abilities become limitless.

There will always be people who will tell you things won’t work or won’t agree with your vision. But you should always follow your dreams. You should get accustomed to failure, making mistakes, but never making the same mistake twice, and being uncomfortable.

Because at the end of the day, we only get one crack at this thing called life. So, stop giving a fuck what other’s think, because you are enough and the decision you made will be good enough for YOU.

-        Kyle

Disclosure: This material is for general information only and is not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.